If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
