we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
