i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
