when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
