He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
