Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
