You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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