Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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