Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
