Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
