Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
