I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
