you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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