My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
