god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
