Farmville is her only friend.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
