is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dicks are not precious.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
