So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
