i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
