If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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