question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
