I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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