Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
