I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Don't tell me you're on acid again
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
