i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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