You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
