I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
