i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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