It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
