Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
