Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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