Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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