Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have so much sex to catch up on
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
