I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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