Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
