...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
