Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
