you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
