Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
