Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I still have a little drunk in my system
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
