i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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