grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
