Your face is a jimmy john
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
