By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
