well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
