WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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