no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
