I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
