I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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