Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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