apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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