That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
