I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
