HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
