Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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