I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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