i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Too much gin, very little bucket
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I want to be your penis for a week.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
